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marmaduke t.’s Reviews
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Online Price: $10.99IN STOCK
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The Channel Islands
07/03/2011
Only after finishing this review did I realise that a minx is not in fact a type of Cat from the isle of man. Unfortunately this entire review was chock full of pussy jokes. In my defense the author started it...saucy minx -
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It is just you
25/01/2011
as above down below -
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not all odes are equal
09/05/2011
I like poetry.
I am quite fond of cunts
I thought this book would bring the two together in a Phantasmagorial explosion of erotic metaphor.
I need to get out more clearly -
Hunting
Mowbray Morris, Suffolk And Berkshire, Henry Charles How Suffolk And Berkshire and othersOnline Price: $37.99IN STOCK
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Shirley not
06/08/2010
Berkshire Hunt - Culturallly important - blurred pictures - errant marks - fnaar fnaar -
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kindle my ass
22/06/2011
Most of the women I know would never stoop to such low acts of degradation... he gasped as she ground her stiletto into his quivering buttocks.
At least thats what I imagined he would say as I am far too fiercely heterosexual to go in for any of this limp wristed prose. Theres only one length a story should be for me and its not short.
I cant imagine what kind of mind writes books like these, or reads them but Im damn sure we never had any of them in the army.
Give me a good old fashioned spanking from Matron any old day.
My buttocks dont quiver either, so this has nothing to do with me
No I wont wear that.... take these cuffs of me now... Stop looking at me like that... Ill tell mother
Mummy?
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Demonosophy Unmasked In Modern Theosophy. Whence? What? Whither? An Exposition And A Refutation With Corrective Bible Teaching
Mersene Elon SloanFREEINSTANT DOWNLOAD
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Post-lacanian mathematics and the correlating lack
06/08/2010
I'm the first to ask the question as to the relative merits of girdles. Unfortunately, as it is in this review, this is often not the question that should be asked first.
A number of questions have been asked by this book. My favorite is ...whither?
I plan on heading home for a spot of corrective bible teaching at the first available opportunity.
that is all -
Rock My Socks Off
Jeremy EdwardsOnline Price: $9.95INSTANT DOWNLOAD
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beat poetry and the armageddon
17/08/2010
I too would like to take an obtuse club to young Brandon.
This crime agaionst fiction takes its sweat soaked narrative straight from Enid Blyton.
Noddy and Bigears are only thinly disguised in what surely must rank as and erotic rump -
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we are building an army of extraordianry magnitude
23/08/2010
When I fell in the forest all the trees around me started laughing.
I got my own back by chopping them all down and turning them into paper pulp.
Contemplating my cheerios box I relaised what a marvelous product paper could be. Proper control of the paper-making process can see that same product used and re-used over and over again.
I visualise the power... it is your breakfast cereal. -
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lawks
17/08/2010
I purchased this book expecting something a little extra.
imagine my surprise.....
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Property Rights And Neoliberalism: Cultural Demands And Legal Actions
V. Mcintosh and WayneOnline Price: $87.95INSTANT DOWNLOAD
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Excitement unbound
06/08/2010
What better way to start you day but with a nice bowl of bircher muesli, some organic yoghurt and my favorite text on property rights. This much anticipated text cuts through the clutter that usually surrounds this debate like a lightly warmed knife slicing through butter straight from the fridge to spread evenly across a slice of fresh-cut sourdough.
A must read for anyone named mabel. -
Pornotopia
M Christian and J. ManxOnline Price: $6.95INSTANT DOWNLOAD
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Musical fruit
17/08/2010
Algernon spoke softly as Bigglesworth stoked the fire. This is our one chance to bash the boche he exclaimed.
Stroking his hnadlebar moustache Ginger took one look at his friends and flew into a rage.
He ran out of fuel and crashed into the english channel.
Later that night they discovered the magic flute hidden within the commanders favorite banana.
Thus nature balances itself -
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I'm gonna make it shine
13/08/2010
This years football season is shaping up a a battle of heideggarian proportions.
With a backline heavilyinfluence by platonic thinking the conceptualisation of the midfield will be the key to Victory.
I give it a 7 -
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Wrestling invertbrate pythons and other tales
22/11/2010
In my youth It was not unheard of for me, and my zoological chums to head into the jungle for some corporal punsihment of the Parvorder Platyrrhini (marmosets, tamarins, capuchins being the preferred type)
One thing we always made sure of was to wash our hands before retiring to the smoking room where young Arthurton gratefully and somewhat surprisingly submitted to his duties as a toast rack.
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hot buttered toast and the headles woman - a treatise
11/09/2010
I must say that breakfasts have been a lot lonelier since Darren learnt how to attract a man.
I remember sitting with him as he extolled the virtues of well-buttered toast, while we discussed whether buffy or willow was hotter and which one wed end up with.
Unfortunately as it turns out buffy and willow are television characters...
Still now women know that to attract my attention I just need a glimpse of their bare midriff, preferably without any legs or a head attached I expect to buried under a welter of slender torsos.
What is a collective noun for that he wondered
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The all seeing eye
09/06/2011
Im a good natured guy, however in spite of frequent attempts at conversation I have been unable to engage my penis in anything other than a staring competition. Damn thing never blinks. What disturbs me is that this man provides alcoholic beverages to his penis which leads me to two conclusions.
1.I do not want to drink at the same bar as Ben.
2.There are actually worse thing in life than fluoro plaid golfing pants
In retrospect I could potentially put up with 1.
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wiffle
11/05/2011
I've always been partial to words starting with sp... spork is another.. sputum has it's merits.
The phrase "this report isn't going to write itself" doens't have an words starting with sp in them.
I wish it was writing itself. -
Admonitions On Governing The People: Manual For All Administrators
Yagyong Chong and Byonghyon ChoiOnline Price: $66.95INSTANT DOWNLOAD
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eink vs papyrus
07/03/2011
I was fully intending to purchase this most excellent tome.
Unfortunately I fell asleep during the synopsis.
I have woken up during the Han Dynasty where in spite of a very favorable exchange rate I can no longer purchase due to territorial restrictions. it's also not copmpatable with their current ereading devices.. although leading Han scholars and technicians tell me this will be fixed during the next scroll updgrade -
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Shirely Not
03/06/2011
This pithy tome (yes I have a lisp) was Shart from the bowels of John Thomastown.
Inspired by 19th floor shenanigans from earnest young miscreants this surely is the way to go out.
Or come out as the case may be.. Dan will decide -
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The foxtrot
14/12/2010
Dear sirs
My album cover appears to have a large pink bit obscuring the pink bits.
please rectify immediately
inanely
yours -
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A Straw Poll
08/11/2010
My aunt recommended this album to me.
Her senility was less evident on that particular day.
maybe it's the hot buttered toast talking but the conflation of charles in charge and the act of felching leaves even me somewhat disturbed.
Thankfully the barbituates are dealing with that -
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Neil Diamond... smut merchant
14/12/2010
Being an avid fan of Science Fiction I was quite taken with the idea of an entire world existing in Mr Boners's Arse. As it turns out the amazing predictive gift recommending machine at Borders suggest that Duffy and Neil Diamond may have written similar songs about entire ecosystems devloping in their orifices.
Neil Diamond, whose name is clearly a euphemism apparently created the concept during an english cuntry breakfast session in the cotswolds...
Mr Cuntry Boners referencing of said breakfasting session... known as the Diamond Breakfast Sessions... is both clever and a euphemism as well.
(Both names are slang for butter)
that is all -
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the bridge too far
27/02/2011
I always imagined a menage to be some kind of hedge. Imagine my surprise.
It seems that the synaptic link required by the reader to imagine themselves in the role of 'one of god's little people' was too far for me. Fortunately the whiff of a rose scent infused lace corset on a transgendered midget will always get me going.
unfortunately now I've gone I can't get back
mother? -
The Case For Progressive Dispensationalism: The Interface Between Dispensational And Non-Dispensational Theology
Robert SaucyOnline Price: $10.99INSTANT DOWNLOAD
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neo classicial dispensationalism
07/03/2011
Dr Saucy *snort* -
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No... is the answer you seek
11/05/2011
I was floating on Lake Burley Griffin in a blow-up canoe when the burley attracted a gathering of non-violent sharks. Their attacks were mostly of a personal nature, and while quite upset I retained all my limbs.
Unfortunately the crazed mean streets of Canberra proved too dangerous for my shark damaged personality, and I accidentally said die.
This book took me to level 2. I live on level 3
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vacuums and cleaning
22/06/2011
I was a teenage vacuum cleaner salesman.
it's not very sexy
sorry -
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Musical fruit
15/07/2011
Sooooooo masturbation hygiene with some giant strawberry headed girl holding what looks like a firehose.
I cant even begin to think what any of this means.. To say nothing of the scary pineapple girl and apple woman holding up her shoe... In answer to Mr Youngmillers book just because you have those thought doesnt mean youre gay.. can I respond with a book titled Just because you sexualise fruit and then fill your cover with scary symbolism doesnt mean youre some kind of crazy man?.. The response of course being
YES IT DOES!!!!
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Myer Emporium
26/06/2011
At around 1:30 pm I thought Id head out for a coffee. Unfortunately the barista was not the woman with the amazing and hypnotic tattoos but one of the generic boys that staff the cafe. Im not sure whether the coffee tasted average because I was not distracted, or if generic boys really cant make coffee.
I bought a lamington too, and one for my friend.. they were the last two, and really quite nice.
By this time my iPod had charged enough and I went for a walk around the city, mostly New Order with a bit of Leftfield.
Then the guys took the Ping Pong table apart in some kind of bizarre attempt to turn it into a boardroom table, complete with a pretty cool stencil.
I didnt read this book
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an authorised message from management
04/03/2011
Get back to work you freeloading slackers. Of all the books to browse It's pretty obvious why you've looked at this one first
yours smuttily
marmaduke -
1001 Internet Jokes II - Australian Edition
David Moishe SchwabOnline Price: $7.43INSTANT DOWNLOAD
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bitter salted water and you
30/05/2011
This book made me take the piss. Having taken it, I regret such foolishness.
As should the author of this execrable book.
That's a shit joke btw.. literally and metaphorically.
It is not in this book.. perhaps the sequel?
come the rapture people. -
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good times
09/05/2011
Many many years ago i got married. It was at the zoo.
Meerkats were a new and exotic item in those days.. I think electricity had just been invented.
Anyhooo
The meerkats sat up expectantly like a small crowd of expectant meerkats.
My friend reached out to pat their ever so cute little heads and then lifted his arm in the air as it was shredded to the bone by their ever so cute claws and teeth.
His one word lament was ...
Dettol...
You just cant make that shit up ... madness indeed
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what a silly bunt
09/05/2011
All children should learn to swear early in life. No kindergarten class is complete without at least one charming child exploring the parentage of their teacher during a dispute over naptime.
All grandparents thrill at the first time they are told to "fuck off you stupid old c$%%ts" by their granddaughter.. indeed my memory book is jammed with creative linking of the c-bomb involving oxen, anatomy and general dim-wittedness.
I do take issue with a book that encourages people laughing to wet their pants however.
Thats just fucking rude.
![Bookcover for 'Cuntro Classics, Vol. 1 [cd/dvd]'](http://images.borders.com.au/images/bau/MI000171/MI0001719886/80/0/plain/cuntro-classics-vol-1-cddvd.jpg)
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